Sometimes even the smallest acts of kindness can help give someone with cancer the hope they so desperately need.

The word “encourage” comes from the Latin word meaning “heart.” So literally, to encourage someone is to “put heart into them”—to give them courage, strength, or hope, which is what someone so desperately needs when facing cancer.

Many of us would like to encourage someone with cancer, but we often don’t know what to do or perhaps we feel overwhelmed by their situation, so we do nothing.

Here’s an important truth: you can do something practical today that will help the person feel loved and cared for.

The following list includes nine ways to encourage someone with cancer. These suggestions are specific, practical, and not difficult to pull off.

A note of caution

It’s important to offer your help and show love with the right posture. It’s not your job to fix their situation, and it’s important for you to keep that in mind, as the struggles related to cancer or other serious illnesses can be overwhelming. However, showing up with a meaningful act of kindness, even small, can help bring them hope and encouragement in difficult times.

With that said, here is our list.

9 ways to show love to someone you know with cancer:

1. Show up for them.

Offer your presence as a gift. It may seem like there may be something better you can do for them, but your presence is one of the best gifts you can give. Show up for them and let them know how much you care. Just being there can be so encouraging. If you are concerned whether it is a good time for a visit, text them directly, or reach out to a family member and ask.

2. Listen to them.

Ask them how they are doing and then listen. Let them direct the conversation and do the talking. Resist the urge to try to solve their situation but just listen and affirm what they are saying. This can help people feel listened to and cared for. While there might be times when we say something often our words fall short. For more help with what to say, see “What to Say Someone Who Has Cancer,” also on our website.

3. Serve them in simple ways.

Don’t say, “Let me know if you need anything.” This puts the pressure on them and they likely won’t reach out. Instead, ask them (or their family) specifically what some areas in their life they might need help with, and then see if you could help. Maybe it is as simple as picking up their mail for them, taking out the garbage, or sorting through the fridge. Whatever it is, they will certainly feel loved by your act of service.

4. Love them creatively.

Draw them a picture, knit them a hat, or you could even write them a poem or song. That’s what a woman named Susanne Bielfeldt did for friend who was hospitalized after surgery for colon cancer. She wrote him a hopeful song called, “When an Angel Comes to You.” Her friend, who was later released from the hospital, still cries every time he hears it, as the words are uplifting and specific to his experience. You can listen to the song and hear more about the inspiration for it here.

5. Bring them food.

Bringing people a healthy meal is always a welcome gift, as when someone faces a crisis, they often don’t have the capacity to cook. They will appreciate it, especially while in the hospital, as the food is often subpar at best. You can bring them a home-cooked meal, or give them a gift card for a restaurant or Door Dash or similar delivery service. This is a great way to show them how much you care and will give them an encouraging lift. Not only that, but it will also help give them vital nutrition.

6. Write them a card.

Writing someone a note of encouragement is a timeless way to show love and care for someone. When my mom was going through cancer, she loved checking the mailbox. Almost every day, one of her friends sent her an encouraging card. She kept these in her journal and would look back at them for encouragement. These written acts of kindness were like a steady stream of hope trickling into her life each day. And they meant a lot.

7. Invite them to social gatherings.

It can be painful for someone to feel cut off from their friends during cancer. Not everyone facing cancer will be able to attend social gatherings like normal, but they will be thankful to be invited. If you can accommodate them to attend, try to make it work or perhaps include them over Zoom or FaceTime. Even if they decline to attend, they will still feel loved and included by you.

8. Give their caregivers a break.

Behind every person facing cancer, is often a circle of family and friends who support them. Usually most of the care falls on one or two people who quickly reach exhaustion or burnout. Whenever possible, show love to the caregivers. Bring them a meal, give them a hug or even help them take a break for a few hours. It will help them better care for the person going through cancer. By serving the caregiver you are also serving the one going through cancer.

9. Pray for them.

Prayer, or asking God for help, has proven to one of the most powerful ways to help people find hope. Ask the person going through cancer, “How can I pray for you?” And then do it. If you feel comfortable, you could even pray with them, or recruit a friend, or pastor to do so. Giving their struggle to God can help bring a sense of peace and calm and hope that nothing else can—for the one going through cancer, and also you. As these words from Philippians say, “By prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).”

To learn more about how to pray for others, see this article: Praying for Loved Ones with Cancer.

Conclusion

As this article shows, if you want to help someone going through cancer, there are many easy and practical ways to help. These acts of love don’t have to be overwhelming, and they are likely easier than you think.

Today is a good day to help show love to a friend who so desperately needs it. They will be so glad you did.

 

For more help with encouraging someone with cancer, read What to Say to Someone with Cancer.