For everyone who prays and asks for God’s help, there will be times when we ask, “Why is God silent? Why is God not answering my prayers?”

To have our prayers go unanswered, especially for long periods of time, can be heartbreaking, to say the least. It can test our faith and drain our hope. It can be hard on us, and on those around us.

These experiences can even happen to people, even who have had a relationship with God for a long time.

If you are new to prayer, it may be helpful to first read “Asking God for Help” or some of the other articles in the Finding God section of this website before diving into this topic.

For all who face God’s silence, here is the critical question this article seeks to answer: “How can I find hope, even when God is not answering my prayers?”

A story of unanswered prayers

During my mom’s cancer journey with glioblastoma, a deadly brain cancer, there were several times when she and my family felt like God was not answering our prayers on her behalf.

She was a strong person of faith and prayer, a woman who was the glue that held our family together. To see her suffer, including through times of God not answering her prayers, was one of the hardest experiences of my life. And I have also walked through my own journey with stage IV cancer, which was also very difficult.

As if my mom’s diagnosis and treatment weren’t hard enough, a few weeks into her cancer journey, she threw her back out, causing some small fractures and incredible pain. At the worst, her pain level grew to an 8 or 9 out of 10, persisting for weeks, making her days (and nights) miserable.

We prayed for relief, but no answer came. Week after week after week. Not surprisingly, she began to lose hope, as we all did.

Have you ever felt that way, like you’ve lost hope, especially in the wake of unanswered prayers?

You are not alone.

Feeling like giving up

When God is not answering our prayers, and we wonder, “why is God silent?” it can be easy to feel like giving up.

Sometimes these times of God’s silence can persist for long seasons.

To not hear a response or get help from one who has the power to give it, can be disappointing to say the least. It tests our faith, and our belief in God’s goodness and his love. For if God is loving, why doesn’t he help?

While we may be tempted to give up in praying, we shouldn’t. Keep reading to hear some thoughts about walking through seasons of when God feels silent.

Why is God silent?

The reasons for why God is silent can be complicated, some we can understand, and perhaps many we can’t.

However, here are few possible explanations (certainly not all) for times of why God is silent:

1. Delayed answers for optimal timing.

   Sometimes God may delay answering our prayers, because he is working on a response, but one that will be revealed at later time, one that is more optimal. When we struggle, we want help right now, but God is not obligated to fulfill our timeline—and he has specific reasons for when he chooses to help, even if we don’t always understand them.

2. Strengthening our faith.

   Sometimes God uses delays to strengthen our faith. While we might never choose this, God is using all things for good, as it says in the Bible (Romans 8:28). Though these times can be incredibly painful and difficult to walk through, somehow God uses them for our good and his glory.

3. God has already spoken, but the message hasn’t been recognized or heeded.

   There can be times, when God may have spoken to us, but we may have missed it. Being finite creatures, we can miss God’s response to our prayers. Or other times, we may not want to follow God’s leading, and so we can misinterpret this as his silence or unwillingness to help.

While these reasons don’t address every situation for why God is silent, they at least peel back the curtain a bit.

The reality is, we may never know why God doesn’t answer our prayers—especially on this side of heaven. As the book of Corinthians says, “For now we see through a glass, darkly (1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV).” In other words, it is not possible to fully comprehend all of God’s plans or ways while on earth.

If this article, or any you read, seems to imply they can explain fully why God doesn’t answer every prayer, you probably should stop reading it. God’s ways can be mysterious, which is why faith is necessary.

You are not alone

If you are feeling like God is being silent with you, or not answering your prayers, know you are not alone. There are many people in the Hope Has Arrived community who express such feelings, including in our prayer and support group and in comments on social media.

King David also wrote about this topic in the book of the Psalms, including these verses:

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

And day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.”

These words speak about a man who was walking through a season of not hearing from God, and they express David’s feelings of disappointment, sadness and even betrayal. David loved God and penned many psalms extolling God’s love and goodness but now he was asking, “God how long will you hide your face from me?”

When heaven is locked in silence

This psalm by David also inspired a contemporary worship song called, “When Heaven’s Locked in Silence.” Here are some of the lyrics:

“When heaven’s locked in silence

I cry how long, O Lord?

How long will you stay hidden

While my sorrow is ignored

How long will foes exalt because

My heart is unrestored.”

Certainly, the feelings of God feeling far off from us or ignoring our prayers can be a common experience. We can feel unrestored.

However, is it possible to find hope in such a situation?

Moving toward hope

The last two verses of Psalm 13 offer some suggestions for moving toward hope:

^“But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me (Psalm 13:5-6, NIV).”

David begins to praise God, meditate on his love and remember the things that God has done for him. He also recalls God’s salvation and goodness to him. These thoughts, while they don’t erase David’s pain, help bring him to a more hopeful place.

While the psalm ends abruptly, and we don’t get to see an answer for David’s prayers, we do later see him praising God elsewhere in Psalms—implying he made it through this valley of discouragement.

Turn towards hope and faith

In the song, “Heaven’s Locked in Silence,” the psalmist also turns toward hope, through gratitude.

“But I have learned to trust you

For your love is strong and sure

Salvation free and bountiful has made my heart secure

Ill rejoice and sing O Lord

A song that shall endure…

Even in the days of silence.”

Like the writer of this song, we must not let our hearts grow dark and bitter and spiral downward.

We can, we must—even in disappointment—praise God and remember what he has done for us, which helps crack the door of hope.

Even so, the experience can feel difficult.

Done with God

I was reading a comment recently on a Hope Has Arrived post, where a woman with chronic health problems shared about her deep frustration with God’s silence. “I feel abandoned by (him),” she wrote. “Everyone please pray for me and my husband, maybe God will listen to you.”

Her words were full with pain and disappointment, and even bitterness.

Part of me wondered if she was done with God, ready to throw in the towel.

I can certainly relate, and my heart went out to her.

To whom shall we go?

The reality is, God is the best source of hope possible when facing cancer or other hard times. When I feel tempted to give up on God, I feel like Peter, when he said: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God (John 6:68).”

Peter said this after Jesus taught about being the bread of life in a way that offended many people (John 6).

I have sometimes felt similar angst when God does not answer my prayers.

Yet I, and we, are faced with the same question: to whom shall we go? Jesus offers the best source of hope to make it through cancer and other struggles—even when we have to wait on him.

So, I will hang in there and wait on God…even when I don’t hear from God. Even when his will is not what I want.

I hope you will, too.

Gratitude, trust and waiting

Waiting is something we hate. We want answers to our problems now, on our timeline. If we lack knowledge, we search google or AI, to get an instant answer.
But solutions to real problems don’t always work like that.

Sometimes we must wait…and wait.

An answer to my mom’s prayer

In my mom’s situation, eventually an answer to our prayers did come. She found some relief from back pain, through a spine doctor and also an ergonomic chair, but it took weeks and plenty of pain and waiting.

When the answer came, it was affirming and brought relief. My mom felt seen by God, and gave her a lift—though she still faced many challenges ahead. As did we.

What does hope to look like?

In many situations of facing God’s silence, hope means not giving up, to keep going, and even to continue praying. It may not sound like much of a solution, but waiting on God when we pray is never wasted time.

Eventually, we may see the answer we seek, or something else in line God’s will and purpose. But we may have to wait like King David did. Elsewhere in the Psalms he wrote some hopeful words about waiting, words of confidence that we can also hold on to:

“I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13 NIV).”

This is a good reminder for us to cling to hope, even as we endure times of when God is silent. As we continue to pray and wait, we, too, can see the goodness of God in the land of the living—even if we must wait.

 

For more help with how to pray, read Asking God for Help.