For everyone who prays and asks for God’s help, there will be times when we ask, “Why is God silent? Why is God not answering my prayers?”

To have our prayers go unanswered, especially for long periods of time, can be heartbreaking, to say the least. It can test our faith and drain our hope. It can be hard on us and on those around us.

These experiences can happen to anyone, even those who have had a relationship with God for a long time.

If you are new to prayer or have not yet begun a relationship with God, it may be helpful to first read “Asking God for Help” or some of the other articles in the Finding God section of this website.

For all who face God’s silence, here is the critical question:

“How can I find hope, even when God is not answering my prayers?”

A story of unanswered prayers

During my late mom’s journey with glioblastoma, there were several times when she and my family felt like God was not answering our prayers.

She was a strong person of faith and prayer, a woman who was the glue that held our family together. To see her suffer, including through times when God seemed silent, was one of the hardest experiences of my life. And I have also walked through my own journey with stage IV cancer, which brought its own profound challenges.

As if my mom’s diagnosis and treatment weren’t hard enough, a few weeks into her cancer journey, she threw her back out, causing some small fractures and incredible pain. Her pain persisted for weeks, making her days (and nights) miserable. The hits just kept coming.

We prayed for relief, but no answer came. Week after week…after week. Not surprisingly, she began to lose hope. We all did.

Have you ever felt that way, like you’ve lost hope, especially in the wake of unanswered prayers?

You are not alone.

You are not alone

In addition to my experience, there are many people in the Hope Has Arrived community who express such feelings of God being silent. We repeatedly heard this in our prayer and support group, emails, and comments on social media.

Here is a recent comment from a woman with chronic health problems who shared her deep frustration with God’s silence. “I feel abandoned by (Him),” she wrote. “Everyone, please pray for me and my husband; maybe God will listen to you.”

Her words were full of pain and disappointment. Part of me wondered if she was done with faith, ready to throw in the towel.

I can certainly relate to her disappointment, and my heart went out to her.

Feeling like giving up

When God is not answering our prayers, it can be easy to feel like giving up.

Sometimes God’s silence can persist for long seasons.

Not hearing a response or getting help from One who has the power to give it tests our faith and our belief in God’s goodness and love.

While we may be tempted to give up on praying, we shouldn’t.

Please keep reading to hear my thoughts about walking through seasons when God feels silent. While I don’t have all of the answers, perhaps you will find what I have written helpful…and even hopeful.

Why is God silent?

The reasons why God is silent can be complicated; some we can understand, and perhaps many we can’t.

However, here are a few possible explanations (certainly not every reason) for times when God is silent:

1. Delayed answers for optimal timing.

   Sometimes God may delay answering our prayers because he is working on a response, but one that will be revealed at a later time. When we struggle, we want help right now, but God is not obligated to fulfill our timeline—and he has specific reasons for when he chooses to help, even if we don’t always understand them.

2. God has already spoken, but the message hasn’t been recognized.

   There can be times when God may have spoken to us, but we may have missed it. Being finite creatures, we can miss God’s response to our prayers. Or other times, we may not want to follow God’s leading, so we can misinterpret this as his silence or unwillingness to help.

3. Strengthening our faith.

   Sometimes God uses delays to strengthen our faith. God can use all things for good (Romans 8:28), but that doesn’t mean the experience will be easy. God allowed his own Son, Jesus, to be crucified on the cross. Jesus himself cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Of course, that wasn’t the end of the story—this costly sacrifice made it possible for sinful humans to have a relationship with God. We must remember that God loves us, but sometimes he will use difficult circumstances to help us grow.

While these reasons don’t address every situation for God’s silence, they at least peel back the curtain a bit.

The reality is, we may never fully know why God doesn’t answer our prayers—especially on this side of heaven. As the book of Corinthians says, “For now we see through a glass, darkly (1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV).” In other words, it is not possible to fully comprehend all of God’s plans or ways while on earth.

An honest Psalm

King David also wrote about God’s silence in Psalm 13, including these verses:

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

And day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.”

David was walking through a season of not hearing from God, and his words express feelings of disappointment, sadness, and even betrayal. David loved God and wrote psalms about God’s love and goodness, but now he was asking, “God, how long will you hide your face from me?”

When heaven is locked in silence

David’s psalm also inspired a contemporary worship song in the 1980s called “When Heaven’s Locked in Silence.” Here are some of the lyrics:

“When heaven’s locked in silence

I cry how long, O Lord?

How long will you stay hidden

While my sorrow is ignored

How long will foes exalt because

My heart is unrestored.”

Certainly, the feelings of God feeling far off from us or ignoring our prayers can be a common experience. We feel unrestored.

However, is it possible to find hope in such a situation? Yes, I believe so.

Moving toward hope

The last two verses of Psalm 13 offer some suggestions for moving toward hope:

^“But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me (Psalm 13:5-6, NIV).”

David begins to praise God, meditate on his love, and remember the things that God has done for him. He also recalls God’s salvation and goodness to him. These thoughts, while they don’t erase David’s pain, help bring him to a more hopeful place.

While the psalm ends abruptly, and we don’t get to see what happens to David in this circumstance, we do later see him praising God elsewhere in Psalms—implying he made it through this valley of discouragement.

Turn towards hope and faith

Like David, we must not let our hearts grow bitter and our discouragement spiral.

We can, we must—even in disappointment—praise God and remember what he has done for us, which helps crack open the door of hope.

To whom shall we go?

Not everyone reading this may feel ready to do that. However, God provides the best source of hope possible when facing cancer or other hard times. When I feel tempted to give up on God, I remember Peter, when he said, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life (John 6:68).”

So, I will hang in there and wait…even when I don’t hear from him.

Will you wait, too?

Help for finding spiritual hope

Not everyone reading this article would say they have a relationship with God or consider themselves religious.

But the conclusions I’m leading you to only make sense if you do have such a relationship. For more about how to begin this relationship, see Knowing God Personally. 

What does hope look like?

In many situations of facing God’s silence, hope means not giving up, to keep going, and to keep praying. It may not be a quick fix, but waiting on God when we pray is never wasted energy.

Elsewhere in the Psalms, David wrote some hopeful words about waiting, words of confidence that we can also hold on to:

“I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13 NIV).”

These words speak confidence: “I will see…”

This is a good reminder for us to cling to hope, even as we endure times when God is silent.

As we continue to pray and wait, we, too, perhaps will see the goodness of God in the land of the living.

These verses also offer encouragement: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day… So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16 and 18).”

Please, God, be merciful and bring your hope and healing to all who need it today. Amen.

 

For more help with how to pray, read Asking God for Help. 

If you would like someone to pray for you, see our Prayer and Support Group.