Well, chances are pretty high the cancer will get me because there is not a cure for it. So I’ve come to terms with that, that I know this is probably what’s going to do it. It’s just a matter of when. I’m hoping it’s a few years. God is good. I mean these trials filter through his hands first and so does cancer. I feel like I’ve been chosen for it. I don’t feel like I’m some sort of a victim. He chose me just like he chose other people to do certain things throughout the history in the Bible, and this just happens to be what he chose for me and whoever and whatever he brings in my path. And I hope I can just be faithful enough to recognize when he’s got something for me to do or something to say to somebody.
Cancer’s not the end of the world. I realize a lot of people pass on from cancer and I probably will too, but that’s not the end of my world then. Because when it happens, I’m going to be more alive than I’ve ever been meeting the Lord face to face.
So the cancer trial can be a turning point where you can really reach out to the Lord. And maybe that would be the very purpose for which somebody newly diagnosed had received that diagnosis. Because it really had an impact on me. Maybe I didn’t get it the first two diagnoses, but the stage four one really got my attention and he’s taught me a lot, but he’s walked with me the whole way. He’s right in the chemo room with me. He’s right in here right now with me. I hope I’m saying and sharing what he would want me to because it’s about glorifying Him.
Just talk to God, just talk to him. Just throw it all out there and say, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if you’re really there, but this is how I feel. And this is what I’m going through. He’ll speak to you. He will. He’s not going to leave you.