When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, at first, my family and friends faithfully gathered around me in sympathy and support. I imagine yours did as well. But let’s face it, cancer is a long journey, and our family and friends have busy lives.

As I lay in bed after each one of my four surgeries, at times I felt so alone. My family and friends’ lives sped ahead in the fast lane, while mine came to a screeching halt. I felt like a broken-down car on the side of the highway while the other cars whizzed by me.

Have you too felt forsaken, isolated, and alone in your fears and struggles as you’ve gone through cancer treatment? If so, I will share about the most dependable source of comfort and hope I found when human relationships failed to provide the support I needed.

You are not alone

The place I found the most encouragement during my time of loneliness and despair was spending time with God.

The cancer community often talks about how “you are not alone.” And yes, I believe there is some truth to this statement, knowing that many people can understand some parts of our experience. But as I mentioned, there is a limit to human understanding and help.

In contrast, the Lord, our creator, is always present and longs to be our refuge and strength in our time of need. There is nothing that can separate us from his great love for us. Did you know that his name, Immanuel, means God with us? (1) Let me share more about why this name is so hopeful.

The significance of Immanuel

The name, Immanuel, appears in the Bible, in the book of Isaiah, which foretells the birth of God’s son, Jesus:

“Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14).”

Jesus was called Immanuel, which literally means “God with us.” This reveals two important truths about God: First, he is a relational God who desires to have a relationship with his people. Second, God sending his son to earth reveals his desire be present with us—not just to know us from afar, but to be close with us, as Immanuel means.

God offers this relationship and closeness with us not because he’s bored or vain. He does it because he loves us and cares for us.

As Jesus tells us: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this, so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

God knows us completely

One encouraging reality of God as Immanuel is that he knows us completely.

Everyone is living their own unique story, with struggles and pain and heartache—many that other people cannot fully see or understand, as these words reveal: “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy (Proverbs 14:10).”

For example, during my season of facing breast cancer, an additional factor that made it so difficult was that my husband and I were also seeking adoption.

While my cancer was caught early, and I didn’t fear for my life, I did fear for how it threatened adoption. I experienced pain and sorrow not just physically and emotionally from cancer, but also the sadness of maybe not adopting because of my situation. You can read my full story: “Adopting Hope.”

It was not possible for those around me to fully understand all the emotions and thoughts I was experiencing. Yet God saw me and understood. In my pain, he encouraged me in several very specific ways.

Examples of God’s care for me

During my dark days, I found hope through reading the Bible, especially the Psalms. I could identify with many of the writers, who shared about heartbreak, fear, and isolation. The words, more than just a typical book, are God’s words written for us. They gave me so much hope and consolation.

When it seemed like my health would never recover, and that adoption was off the table, God also gave me hope through a poem called “A Bend in the Road” by Helen Steiner Rice. Words like this seemed perfect for my situation:

“And together we stand at life’s crossroads

And view what we think is the end,

But God has a much bigger vision,

And He tells us it’s only a bend.”

As I read the poem, I felt like God was telling me that he is standing at this crossroads of adoption and health issues with me, and even though it looked like the end, it wouldn’t be.

God knew how to encourage me in a very personal and caring way. And he knows how to do that for you, too.

God knows you completely

God, our Immanuel, doesn’t just know me; he also knows you and understands you completely. No one’s story or circumstance is exactly alike, and to be truly understood, we need to be known by someone who has infinite knowledge and understanding of us. God has such knowledge.

Consider these words from Psalm 139:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

These words, written by King David, share about his personal relationship with God, but also show him marveling at God’s understanding of him. “You are familiar with all my ways,” David writes. This realization brings him to worship and awe of God. “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me.”

God knew David deeply, and he also knows you and me. He knows your patterns, your quirks, the things that bring you down, what brings you joy, and he knows your pain.

He was there in your darkest moments.

He was also there in mine. He saw when I felt so alone while recovering from my surgery. He was there with me when I shed tears over the grief of not being able to adopt.

He sits with us in the pain, but he doesn’t just console us. He can also restore our hope as our Immanuel.

How do you find Immanuel?

I realize that many people reading this might not currently have a relationship with God. Or maybe you do, but the relationship feels distant. Wherever you are, know that you can find hope through a relationship with God as Immanuel.

God promises that when you cry out to him and seek him with all your heart, you will find him. (2) Prayer is how we cry out to God, and we seek him by reading the Bible. He gave us these words so that we could know him personally and have a relationship with him.

God’s care

When you turn to God in your time of distress, he will care for you as a shepherd cares for his flock. Did you know that sheep are completely dependent on the shepherd’s care?

God promises that when you give him that same trust, he will give you rest and freedom from your anxiety and fear. He will be your refuge. He will shield you from the raging emotions you feel as your world totters on a precipice. As you worship him, he will speak peace into your life, give you refreshment, and heal your feelings of despair and brokenness. He will abundantly provide for you and bring inner renewal. He will end the feelings of fear and anxiety that war within you, bringing you to a safe place of inner joy and peace.

God’s faithfulness

Yes, it’s possible to experience his faithfulness, even in the midst of your stormy battle with cancer. I certainly did. He will give you that perfect security that a sheep feels in the presence of its shepherd. God calls you to be still in your time of aloneness, listen, and know that he is God. God’s Word (the Bible) assures us that when he is with us, nothing can separate us from his love. (3)

As I look back on my cancer journey, I can truthfully say that it is the closest I’ve ever felt to God. Looking back, I’m even grateful for that time with my good shepherd—even though it had many difficult moments.

Leaning into Immanuel

As you lean into God in your time of aloneness, he will bring his encouraging presence and lift you high upon a rock above your troubles. You will look down into the valley of fear, and he will give you a new perspective. God is sovereign, meaning he is all-powerful and governs all things according to his purposes. Your cancer did not surprise him. God uses adversity in our lives to draw us near to him and teach us his ways, and grow us in our faith. Trials and suffering go hand in hand.

Cancer is part of life in a fallen world. In this world, we should expect trials as well as blessings. Faith is trusting that God knows best and is strong enough to carry you through the tough times. It is submitting to God and believing whatever God does is right and good. For myself, I know now that God used my time of affliction to grow me in my faith and dependency upon him. He used it to prepare me for the difficult journey that lay ahead of me in adopting and raising two adolescent girls from Ethiopia.

Choosing hope

God does not want us to go through adversity without hope. He sent his Son, Jesus (Immanuel), so that we could know God personally and be with him for eternity. As we share in the suffering of Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, we share in the same eternal hope of His resurrection.

He will take the adversity of cancer and work it out for your good.

If you feel distant from him, today is a good day to pray and ask him for help. If you don’t have a relationship with God, you can receive Christ right now.

The precise words you use to commit yourself to God are not important. He knows the intentions of your heart. If you are unsure of what to pray, this might help you put it into words:

“Jesus, I want to know you, I want to experience you as Immanuel, or God with me. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin so that I could be fully accepted by you. Only you can give me the power to change and become the person you created me to be. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me eternal life with God. I give my life to you. Please do with it as you wish. Amen.”

If you sincerely asked Jesus into your life just now, then he has come into your life as he promised. You have begun a personal relationship with God.

As you fight the enemy of fear, God will help you take your thoughts of isolation and hopelessness captive as you trust in him. In him, you will find friendship, courage, and peace to face whatever comes your way. He promises to be with you in all things, and his great love is everlasting, because he is our Immanuel.