When I was two years old, my parents noticed my smile was crooked, and I couldn’t hold onto things. I also had instances where I was collapsing.

I got an MRI at our local children’s hospital in Cincinnati, and doctors discovered I had a baseball-sized brain tumor. We never found out what type of cancer it was, but it was very aggressive.

It took two surgeries to get the whole tumor out. Then I went through chemo and 30 radiation treatments. I also went to rehab and multiple therapies.

Finally, at age four, I was declared in remission.

Home away from home

I was so young I don’t have memories of this time, but my parents had a rough go. In the beginning, doctors told them to just make me comfortable and spend as much time with me as possible.

After my first surgeries, I stayed at Cincinnati Children’s for over a hundred days.

When I was admitted to the oncology department, a nurse told my mom, “This is going to be your home away from home.”  It seemed unlikely, but she was right. We were there so much, and the people were so great, it really did become our home away from home.

Why am I the way I am?

I’m now 22, and I’ve had 16 additional surgeries. I have remained in remission, but the brain tumor’s effects have been long-term.

In 2015, I began having seizures. The only way to stop them was surgery to disconnect the two sides of my brain.

Most recently, I had surgery to lengthen tendons in my leg and foot. I don’t have much function on my left side, and my toes were curling so tightly it was difficult to walk.

I have spent a lot of my life in the hospital. The doctors and nurses at Cincinnati Children’s are wonderful, but it’s still hard.

It was especially difficult after that second round of brain surgery. I was eleven years old and in the hospital for five weeks. I kept wondering, “If God really loves me, why am I the way I am?”

Finding hope, strength, and peace

My relationship with God began at a little church my parents have attended since before I was born. I love it there.

But when I started struggling to connect with God, church wasn’t where I found rest for my soul.

Instead, I found hope, strength, and peace hiking in God’s creation.

It was totally unexpected.

Because of my mobility issues, I never used to get much joy from being outside. Over the years, I became increasingly frustrated by my limitations and resigned myself to not seeing much of nature.

A change of scenery

Then, during COVID, my mom discovered Luke5Adventures, a Christian organization that uses modified hiking equipment to help people impacted by disabilities enjoy the outdoors.

We hadn’t left the house in forever, so I agreed to try hiking just for a change of scenery.

I had no idea what that first hike would do for me.

It felt like God was opening a door and widening a path so I could finally experience what I had been missing.

I believe God wanted me to witness the full extent of his love through the incredible world he’s made.

Hebrews 6:19 says, “Hope anchors the soul.”

God has made beautiful landscapes, and they fill me with His hope.

Luke 5 Adventures

Before joining Luke5Adventures, I never went to local city parks. Now I’ve been on hundreds of hikes, and every time, I feel an indescribable sense of awe that I am seeing God’s heart in creation.

For my high school graduation, Luke5 took me on my first trip to Colorado. I got to hike a mountain, see a waterfall, go ziplining, and ride a train.

They also took me to Israel with my parents. We saw the Holy Land where Jesus lived and got baptized in the Jordan River where He was baptized.

This summer I traveled back to Colorado, and we hiked to the top of Pikes Peak—it was so amazing!

Seeing God in nature

When I was little, I didn’t know anything other than my life with disabilities. As a teen, I struggled to understand why God allowed me to have a brain tumor.

Then, I began seeing God’s love in nature.

Psalm 61:2 says, “From the end of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

I think of this verse when I’m hiking. It makes such a difference knowing God hears me and cares about me. 

Sharing my story

Luke5 recently named me their official ambassador. When I share my story, I love telling people that the feeling of excitement never goes away. Every time I sit in the Rosie (an adaptive, one-wheeled hiking chair), I anticipate another adventure on the horizon.

My story is unique, but I know there are more people like me, and after I graduate, I plan to go into non-profit work. I want others with disabilities to see themselves in me and be inspired to experience God in whatever adventure he brings their way.

Advice for others

To those who relate to my story, I say: Be yourself. You don’t need to change.

Dream big. I never thought I would hike mountains. God will help you find purpose and achieve things you never imagined you could.

Find a good support community. When I was younger, I connected with friends at an annual camp for pediatric cancer patients. I don’t have that community anymore, but now I have Luke5.

Understand that your relationship with God will go through stages. There may be times you question the hard things he’s allowed in your life, but he is always with you.

Believe God’s love surrounds you even when you can’t feel it. Just look at nature’s beauty! He made it all for you.

 

For more about how to begin a relationship with God, see Knowing God Personally.

For more help on your journey, see Find Hope Now. 

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